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Sonia Diamond
Make no mistake, Sonia is a menace to society. We are only allowing her to blog here in order to keep her from spamming more important high brow sites. She will use words as weapons and try to trick you. Beware. Don't let her enticing ways and sultry sensuality lure you into a false sense of security, for it is then that she will strike!
Dying Stupidly 5 Ways
Spontaneous Combustion
This is either when you explode from inside your body, due to standing carelessly on a dodgy ley line, or you’re a fat bastard falling asleep by the gas fire. Scientists/skeptics/quacks tend to disagree on the cause, but are in agreement with the results – a remaining single shin bone (usually the left one) with some flesh and gristle still intact. Undertakers and grieving relatives will always be pleased with this kind of death. The funeral will be simple and cost relatively little – a shoe box sufficing for the coffin, and a nice knee sock instead of a shroud.
Some questions for Todd Brunner
This is an interview I conducted with Mr Todd Brunner one windy afternoon in Tesco Metro, Tunbridge Wells. I am grateful to Tesco staff for allowing us to drink all the Value gin, and shell and de-vein their prawns. I also thank Todd for being a delight to interview, especially as he was stroking my feet at the same time as being questioned/interrogated by my lovely self. I don't know if Todd's answers are real or fabricated, but that's all part of the fun, isn't it?
Twitter and Me - A Tweet Too Far?
I was bored one May evening in 2009, so I thought I’d investigate this “Twitter” phenomenon I’d been hearing about. I knew it was a mini-blog site for anyone who possessed fingers and what passed for a brain. I’d also heard that famous people like Stephen Fry, Demi Moore and Britney Sucks Cocks were on it, so I was curious. So I duly set up a twitter account and I was ready to tweet! Let’s be honest, I didn’t know why or what I was going to tweet, but the idea of conveying the shit in my head to a possibly large audience excited me. However, after having blocked all the suggested followers, I didn’t have an audience.
