Now that you have been pounded with five podcasts full of my uncompromising opinions, you are probably wondering something along the lines of “Who the fuck are you?” And this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask, given that you are taking a bit of your precious time to listen to this show. But let us remember that we live in a world where every nobody on the planet empties the contents of a brain handbag on the internet every day. So who the fuck do I have to be? Let’s just say that I’m claiming my share.

But you are certainly justified in wanting to know something about the dude who pontificates at you so vociferously every week. And I will admit that I routinely fail to place myself into the context of some of the topics I talk about. This may lead you to wonder why I think the stuff I do and what led me to thinking this way, particularly considering that I hold no impressive academic qualifications whatsoever. I am also guilty of failing to provide you with any real information about myself at mankindsucks.com, which after all, purports to be about me.

So I have decided to redress this problem by doing a show that is primarily about me. And I will endeavour to do one of these every few shows, in an effort to put myself a bit more in the picture. Perhaps doing this will enable you to understand me a bit better and hate me a bit less. One can only hope. On the other hand, I run the risk of boring you to distraction by presenting more info than you want to know about someone you care nothing about. But hell, I’ll just press on anyway.

Now if you have read my lengthy bio at mankindsucks , you will no doubt have surmised that a great deal of it is fictional. But not all. It is true that I originate from Los Angeles and that I moved to the UK in 1987 with my then wife. It is also true that I was a musician, and continued to be so until 2006 when I gave it up altogether. (Note to self: Make the subject of the next “Me” podcast “Why I quit music after 35 years”, because everyone keeps asking.) Various other bits and pieces are also true, but the reason I wanted to bring it up is as an illustration of the fact that I am, above all things, a spinner of fiction and a storyteller. This is so much the case, that, as you have noticed, I can’t even write my own bio without making most of it up.

The truth is, I have always been more interested in the worlds I make up than the real one all around me. My head has always been overflowing with stories and concepts about how things could be different or better. I have always seen the real world as being fatally flawed and in need of repair. Even as a child I felt driven to repair it, or make it better in any way that was within my powers. But as the powers of a child are not terribly formidable, this led to a lot of confusion and frustration on the part of little Todd who really had no idea where to focus all the shit that was in his head.

Given all this, it is strange that at a young age I never saw myself as a writer, even though I read voraciously. In retrospect this would seem like a logical outlet, but I only ever retained a marginal interest in creative writing. This was probably because what was raging in my mind felt way beyond my ability to describe it in words. And this too was strange, because having grown up on a massive diet of Marvel comic books, I had a hugely more sophisticated vocabulary than any of my peers (except for my good friend Larry, who also read comics). No, there was absolutely no focus to my life whatsoever until I discovered I that could make music.

As I don’t want to detract from the content of the next thrilling “Me” podcast, as forecast earlier, I will not delve here into details of my musical history. Suffice to say that from the moment I could play three chords on guitar, I found my focus in life for the first time. Once I realised that I could write songs (really shitty ones – another truism from the website bio), this outlet became an abstract canvas for everything in my head. Writing music became the focus of all the things I felt I needed to accomplish, even though I didn’t really understand what these things were. If that doesn’t make sense to you, believe me, it didn’t to me either, but as it was the only thing that seemed to fit, I stuck with it, became good at it and sought for many years to make it my profession.

The key factor here is that what interested me about music was the fact that I could make up these things called songs. Making or inventing things was what it was all about. Playing an instrument was just a tool. And once I could make things, I wanted to show them to other people, and so by default, I became an entertainer. This seemed to fit me like a glove, so much so, that to this day I consider it to be my main occupation, regardless of the fact that it’s never made me a penny. Go figure.

Years later the Internet replaced music as my outlet for inventing things. The tools changed, the canvas changed, and everything became much bigger and more exciting. And with all this came a crystal clarity I had never had with music, regarding who I was, where I was going and what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. (No, I’m not going to tell you what these things are. You don’t care anyway, and if you do, well, use your imagination.)

As a little side note here, just in case anyone doubts the significance of fiction in the “real world”, I would like to point out the fact that money is fictional. It is a totally made up thing with no actual value, and look how much trouble it’s gotten us into. Just sayin’.

There is one more thing I want to tell you, before I allow you to go and listen to something you’re actually interested in. Apart from being driven to make things, I am also obsessed with being original. I have never been interested in jumping on bandwagons or copying what others do. As a musician I was never interested in playing covers or sounding like anyone else. As a web developer I am not the slightest bit interested in making clones of existing social media tools with some tiny new twist. If an idea has already been done, it’s dead to me, as a developer. (Note to self: Make the subject of number 3 “Me” podcast “All the original ideas I have had that other people have gotten rich on.”) As a consumer though, I’m very glad that everyone isn’t like me, because copying creates competition, and competition always benefits the consumer. So apparently, in general terms, I am not good for business. If you want to blame me for the financial crisis, feel free.

The reason I am mercilessly shoving all this drivel down your throat is so that you might understand how fundamentally I need to invent things and be original. The soryteller/spinner of fiction thing I mentioned earlier is all part of this. This is entirely what I am about, and the need to churn this shit out drives everything that I do. And I’m not telling you this because I want to impress you, as if it would. Far from it. The fact is, I need to tell you this in order to set the stage for the next two episodes of So Sue Me!, which will seek to explore a) what other people do that I don’t do, and b) what I do that other people don’t do. Armed with this little intro under your belt, you should be prepared for anything. And if not, who cares anyway?